


No other place I'd ever wanna go

by ctjl



Category: Dan Howell - Fandom, Danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil, Phandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Phil Lester - Fandom, dan and phil
Genre: Alternate Universe - Criminals, M/M, One Shot, Romance or bromance take it as whatever you see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2015-09-21
Packaged: 2018-04-22 18:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4845956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ctjl/pseuds/ctjl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The usual one shot you'd fine. All fun and games. They're together, they're enjoying themselves. They smile and laugh, appreciating the othe- Oh yeah. Almost forgot to mention. Dan and phil are criminals on the run. Their destructive trail leaves behind traces of their victims' blood. It gets Phil a bit annoyed sometimes that they stain their clothes but hey they're a runaway duo. No time to do the laundry when you've got the world coming against you</p>
            </blockquote>





	No other place I'd ever wanna go

**Author's Note:**

> Long time amateur writer; first time posting
> 
> Probably gonna have mistakes. It's bound to but I did this as practice for my national exams. So I know that my writing isn't all that great. But I took so long to churn out this short fictional story that I wanted to have it somewhere. Somewhere just happened to be here
> 
> I was inspired by 1dgeorgia's video on YouTube. I asked for permission if I could post my one shot inspired by it but they never replied. I hope they're ok with it.  
> Here's the video: http://youtu.be/vcFX41S2XSE
> 
> (25 June 2016) Here's a vine I found relevant to this: https://twitter.com/bestphanvines/status/746728429010227200

"Whoops" he sarcastically said. A swift gash drawing red to the surface of the lady's pale skin. Her blood seeped out, gradually pouring out of the open cut and pouring onto the building's walls. The surface became slick with the crimson running everywhere. At least it wasn't splattering on my pants like the last person. Our last guy had themselves a messy end. It was his fault for resisting. Trying to retaliate only got Dan more sadistic. The blood shed everywhere on my pants

I'll admit it looks cool but running all over the country with blood-soiled clothing was disgusting. Even for me

My thoughts were put at halt as the distant sound of sloshing liquid whirred about under my feet. Was that water? It'd be rather surprising if there were someone in the building. Only if they knew what was happening some floors above them

It was early morning. I'd been situating myself in a corner, waiting for Dan to finish. However long he took, I waited. The pleasure he took in slicing open their skin, letting the blood ooze out and drain their life away. It was all so mundane to watch. However, he enjoyed it. And I loved seeing his head thrown back, eyes crinkled with a full-on-chortling laughter

None of this was all that difficult to do, anyway. Humans were the easiest, if not simplest, to slaughter. Bipedal animals with frail, simple anatomy. Day in, day out we would do this. Either my eye would catch someone on the street or my brain would concoct a plan and Dan would be the one to execute it. At the start when we first began, he'd go all out. The grimace on my face was more apparent, too. Things have begun to mellow down. A death wasn't something to wallow about. It was a daily occurrence. Simply born just die. Only some sooner than others 

All this just happened on its own. When we first met up on our blind date, we'd grown so bored of the lit candle and fancy cuisine that we just left. While we strolled through the streets, I offhandedly made a joke of how fun it'd be to go on a killing spree. He said he would kill for every human was dead. I chuckled and we found a common interest in that; our hatred for society. Things just clicked like it did. Soon enough, we'd robbed neighbourhoods clean and dry of its valuables and let some few dozen prisons loose. It was fun. More death, more destruction, more time to spend with my deathly dorky boy. All nice fun 

The gravel beneath my feet grated against my shoes as I shuffled over the building. Lifting my arm, I pressed my index finger forward, pushing the half conscious lady to her death. Her hair flapped about, covering her unrecognisably scarred face. As she descended closer to the ground, a fluffy brown haired boy stood at the edge of the building, watching as she plummeted. His hair had been slightly singed from setting so many forests on fire. Had he been more evasive, we wouldn't have to be on the watch out for cops every waking minute. Word had spread fast of two men roaming about America. Two english men that wrecked havoc and caused chaos wherever they went. Luckily we're white men. At least the racist police around here will give us some leeway. With Trump in charge(author's edit: I'm adding this in 2018 because I think it ties in with the story well soz), we still get a way with most things 

"Ugh" my grunt sounded faintly in the cool air 

"What?" his emotionless voice asked

"Can't gravity work faster? How tall is this building? She's been falling for quite awhile now" I rolled my eyes. Such a waste of time, these one on one murders. Dan turned around and walked forward. Stepping off the edge of the rooftop, he came closer and said "She landed in the rubbish bin, Phil. You were the one who told me I can't make a scene every time". The tone in his voice more apparent on my name. Ruddy people taking so long to die..

My watch read 2:08am. "Disposing of some trash, hm?" I murmured as I walked back towards the wall I previously leaned against. My fingers smothered my shirt of the dirt. The grimy texture of the hoodie I wore was feeling tattered. It had gotten scruffy, akin to how the edges of my sleeves were beginning to feel ragged. Dan eyed me up and down. "Perhaps we can rob a store tomorrow?" Dan bent down slightly to meet me at eye level. His lips hovered above mine before he tilted his head and brought my neck forward. His teeth grazed at my skin, bruising the underside and making a hickey. Hands cuffing the back of my hair while my hoodie was brought down. I looked up and saw the city lights beginning to look blurry. The night's howls echoed through the silent city. It was all so pleasant. So tranquil.

My head lightly pressing back on the metal wall behind me, my whole body's weight shifting against it. Dan ran his hand through my mattered hair as the other searched his back pocket. "Yeah. Might as well since I need some clothes" I rasped. A cold, sharp object idled about the tip of my nose. My drooping eyes peeked from underneath heavy eyelids, focusing hard to see beyond my peripheral vision. The familiar scent of blood dripped on my upper lip. My tongue swiped across it, tasting the metallic tang. Dan smothered the end across my face, careful not to cut my skin. His light pink lips shyly smiled. Parting slightly to speak, he asked

"Aw. You tired, Phil?" The tip of his knife pat my nose. The cold point prickled slightly before he retracted the moition

I drowsily nodded my head

As I shifted my weight onto Dan and walked towards the lift with him, shrieks and screams were heard. "Perhaps someone tripped over that corpse in the darkness of tonight" Gasp! "collapsed at the sight of them" my pseudo shocked tone earned a subtle smile from Dan

Blue and red lights flashed against the alleyway. I think it was an ambulance. Some sounds were blaring but I wasn't too sure if that happened with how groggy I was feeling. The stars in the sky had been shimmering ever so slightly behind the hazy air. The scent of burning rubble and oak was carried through the wind from two towns over where people were getting heated up. Some of them rested unknowingly, the fire from forests across them soon about to burn them into a hazy wisp of smoke by dawn

Lolling my head onto my partner's shoulder and fluttering my eyes closed, I took everything in and thought 'life can't get better than this'

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for spending your time to read till the end. I hope you're having/you've had a dazzling day. You're a wonderful human with too kind a heart to think this would be all that interesting :')
> 
> Sorry to disappoint if you expected more. I've reread this in the last 3 years that I do too


End file.
